Katy Johnson wrote:
Namaste Ma , I guess I had to break the ice with a dumb question so I could ask you the real question. I am fond of telling my friends that the good thing about having gone through all the stuff I
v been through in my life, is that Im not afraid of much. My whole tough broad persona , the bicker chick thing, all of it is an act The truth Mother, is that Im afraid of everything !! I am afraid to become.. afraid not to become.. afraid what youll think if I do.. afraid what youll think if I dont. I know that none of this is news to you but saying it out loud is different for me. I have only glimsed my own power and it scares me. I hope this is not too personal for the group but Im hoping that Im not the only one with fear and that others can relate. I love and hate this online darshan stuff. Peace, Jaya Radhe
Namaste my Jaya Radhe, I guess you win the prize for the best question this day. Every one seems to be very grateful to you. First of all if you love and hate this Darshan stuff why do you do it? It is because you are a great lady and want to ease the pain of so many others who may be going through the same stuff as you.
I know honey that you are scared hurt and angry. First our beautiful baby left us to be with God and then our JJ your husband. I have no words of condolence, I can only hold you close to my breast and guide you through it all. I also know that your are not as tough as you seem. The biker chick. You kinda remind your Ma of herself. Every one use to say, There’s the white kid whose parents don’t give a shit, she hangs out with those homeless trash. Many a time I got beat up real bad defending my friends my people. Then one day Old Hudson said to me Girl child you gotta let people say their piece. They just scared of what they do not know. Don’t be so tough he said this to me. I am tough I said in my 7 year old voice. ( can you imagine 7 years old.) Come here he said. I went over to him and held on to his crutches real tight. Now you tell me what you feel right now. Well I cried and cried and never stopped. I couldn’t stop the dry heaves for over a hour. It was the first time I ever really cried. Now I say to you Girl child you tell me what you really feel and I will be there to hold you. Like my teacher old Hudson use to say, I sure do loves you child. Love Ma
