Namaste my Chelas. I need to answer all of you, You want to know what to do with the anger. Serve some one who is in pain. It does not have to be someone with AIDS. Serve like you never served before in Matthew’s Name. That is what I did today, that is what I will do for the rest of my life. Vote for the people who will help us, help us all live in a safe America. And most of all and I am saying this with a angry and sad truthful heart, learn how to protect your self. There are precautions some of you can take. Don’t invite trouble. Be very aware. One time many years ago someone on this darshan line told me he likes to go through the dark parks in San Francisco. I thought I would die right there and then. You have to be wise. There are very sick people out there. It all starts in the family around the table. These young boys were taught to hate. We must teach our children to love but be aware. I wish that you could all take Taekwondo. Or any other self defense. Not to hurt another human being but to protect your self. These kind of hateful people are all cowards who only know how to hurt and kill when they have more then one in a group. I want to bring you all here to Kashi. I am so angry at the parents of these boys.
Now I will tell you a story. Many years ago, me and my Big Durga Das and the others marched in the Gay Pride parade. I don’t know where your Ma’s head was, but I never saw those kind of hate signs. I was too busy being in the hospitals or bringing people home to die on my Ashram. This was in New York. When we got to Saint Patrick there were these so called Christians saying all kinds of shitty things about my children. I lost it completely. No one could stop me, I went wild and ran after them all, I got away from Big Durga Das and the others. I reached the fence screaming at them all kinds of things but mostly how proud I was of my gay children, I felt strong arms holding me in a vice kinda grip. I turned and saw the most beautiful young man. He held me so tight and was yelling in my ear, Mother it is ok it is ok, they don’t know love. It is ok Ma, He knew of me or me though I never met him.Every one was wearing red ribbons for all that they had lost, I had not one space on my white sweater, ( remember Durga Das) the ribbons got so heavy that the sweater drooped to the floor. It is ok said this beautiful Adonis. Thank you I said, so proud to be this strangers Ma. You are my Mama he said, the only one there is. Now you have to understand there were police and screaming and my children screaming Shame on you over and over. I stood tall and told the beautiful young Man that I was ok just trust me. When he let the Mother go, I stood tall in my ribboned sweater that reached my knees from the weight and screamed out over the sounds loud and clear, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW JUDY GARLAND!!!!!!!! Every one burst out laughing with the tears running down our faces we all picked it up. You will never know Judy Garland. They were so shocked that we were laughing at them that some of them looked confused and put down their dirty signs. I turned to look for my young man whose Mother I was and he was way ahead of me walking in the crowd, he blew me a kiss as only a gay man could do and I melted.
Yes I am angry and hurt, but I need to go on and on singing somewhere over the rainbow. We have so much together this family of ours.Someone may leave this Darshan line I can tell from my private e mail because I married Gays, Oh shit I forgot how to marry straights. So what. I will take a stand and do what it is I have to do and I will not stop. So use my shoulders to lay your heads on these days and my arms to hold you. I will always remember my Adonis eyes, he was so proud of his Ma. I was hated for being raised by my Black Gurus in the forties and so what.
I just wish I could have held Matthew in my arms, I said this to my Baba and he said, Why Mother you already have so many times. Please my Children with all your hurt and your anger be wise and careful and I will do Pujas to open the hearts of all. Let the hate go and let us plan with a clear mind what to do. Oh God give me the strength to never let go of anyone’s memory that I have lost this life and let me always remember his eyes. The eyes of the one who found his Ma just as she needed him. I can not answer any questions this night, I will pray for you all I am here always, use me as I use your Sat Guru, You want answers how can I answer what happened, just all of you give the pain to the Mother and she will give it to her Guru. There is much to do. Love Ma
Our Blessed Kashi early this morning.
