Om Ganesha,
Evening Pujas and Prayers
Oct. 1, 2007
Namaste my chelas all over the world.
My chelas all over the world wait for our Guru Jaya Das’s letter each month.
I find myself looking for his words as well as my children.
His words have always touched my heart.
The words of a true queen ( I am the empress )
He has made this Ma so very proud.
He is such a fighter and has gone through so much and always came out right at my Feet.
I love you my son with all my heart.
There is not a moment that I am not with you.
Love Ma
Jai Kali Ma Ki Jai
Always at His Feet Of Our Neem Karoli Baba Ki Jai
Namaste my beloved Ma,
I must first begin my letter, by not repeating who I sleep with (my dog and “cookie” in that order) or how this “old as dirt’ grand-dame gets his weary butt out of bed each Saturday morning but how humbled I am for you being so gracious in posting these letters on your daily Darshan line. I feel like a writer of some TV sit-com who constantly pinches himself in disbelief each time the network (that’s you Ma, CBS, NBC, and ABC and much more) keeps renewing this labor of love, thinking for sure the stories have been told before, and better. This letter is still where I can share myself, always recalling it was you Ma, who ignited this fire in my heart, when I was still a baby of 65, placed by some divine intervention at the mother’s feet.
It’s been a long hot summer in LA LA Land, but we’ve managed to still serve our homeless weekly, with this Global Phone Darshan coinciding with the last Saturday of the month, our biggest serving day. Three of our team, Swami Laxman Das Jaya, Baba Hanuman, and “Bette Davis Jaya” were in Florida. There was a small crew of us around, with this old queen managing to shop and move those heavy cases of food and bananas into our Ashram garage, without the muscle of any of those stronger guys. Yes Ma, 74, if just briefly, was the new 44. I just took off my high heels, put on my orthopedic running shoes, and you ran with me all the way.
We were also missing our Acharya Shiva, who was just momentarily under the weather from taking a new round of medication, but forced ourselves to chow down on breakfast, and even having to eat some of Swami Bhavatarini’s home made coffee cake. Still licking my fingers, Swami reminded us that we were short handed that morning and needed to set up our assembly line and get the show on the road, leaving no time for our usual chit chat, gossip, or dishing dirt. Suddenly when it looked like the smallest of crews to set thing up the skies opened and a horde of people suddenly appeared, among them about 15 folks from SHO, (Singles Helping Others) so we in Under The Bridges were the beneficiaries of their generosity, creating a traffic jam of helpers under our back yard tent.
Ganga and Yamuna and I loaded up on 130 meals and were off on our downtown route. Yes! you ask, they’re still my “wives”, because this is not Utah, and I think they may be lesbians, and I’m an honorary one too, so it’s all legal. On our ride we shared about receiving a letter from Johnny, someone homeless who we had served behind a dumpster for along while, who thanked us for ”helping to keep him sane during the hard times”. He wrote now of “having a great apartment on Hollywood Blvd. with a view of the Hollywood sign”, and of also finishing a book about life on the streets. The humility that serving has taught me was never to judge another human being. It was not the way it was when I first began, especially with Johnny. He was also gay, quite flamboyant, even flirted with me, asked me out, and me a married man! He helped me shift the rhythm’s of my heart, in my process of self discovery. I too need to thank him.
When I placed the food down on the bench where the sad looking hungry woman was sitting, she turned and told me “I’m sorry” she turned away, “my mother would slit my throat if she knew I was accepting food from a stranger”. I looked directly at her, telling her I was only delivering her some food for when she was hungry, that her mother would never have to know, but I would take it back if she wanted. “You look like a good man” she said, “you wouldn’t tell my mother?” “No” I assured her, “It will be our secret”, “I am hungry, thank you” she said. I moved the food across the bench toward her and she took it, and smiled softly, as I held back my tears. I know Ma, that on these rounds of service you are with me, initiating the spirit within me, extending the limits of my heart.
The man moving the cart up Sunset Blvd, thanked me with a French accent so thick, you could have cut it with a knife. For a moment I thought he had to be an out of work actor but he was the real thing. “What shurch are youz from monsieur ?” I assured him we were interfaith, no church, a teacher, a guru, in whose name we feed everyone. “I waz catholic, no like no more shurch, you are cosmic with what you do, with god, like Einstein, it iz good”. We again did not see Thomas, our Outback man, who always wore two hats, the mayor of the corner near the “Doughnut Shoppe”. He, like many other over the years, gone without a trace. The black man stood soberly, against the wall, hearing us call out, his eyes beamed indescribable joy, looking like the legendary Bojangles Bill Robinson when he danced with Shirley Temple, as he danced toward us and took his food. “For me?” he shouted, “God bless you”. On the streets, we serve and learn to be in the world, always knowing we are blessed, that everyone in this life has shortcomings, pain, joy and happiness.
We returned to the Ashram after completing our rounds, to hear your long awaited Global Phone Darshan call. We are a far outpost of Kashi, a spec on the map, without always having the guru in the flesh, or the gift of living in community. On the phone call, and on-line, the guru mother cultivates the parts of us yearning for spirituality. I take what I hear and read daily and have learned to live in the gracious shadow of you the mother extending your love all way to tinsel town. You have given me the opportunity to learn to live a life, still at my age there is the opportunity of self discovery, to glimpse on who I am, to turn my attention to my spiritual heart, to walk the path with you, to become the true essence of self, to be selfless.
With deepest gratitude and love, always,
Your son,
Guru Jaya Das